I've been in my room, restless with anxiety into the wee hours of the morning, and about the city, from Disneyland to bars and dance clubs. Regardless of my location, I've yet to be able to get some sleep prior to three am, and I end up skipping classes because I know that I'll never be able to catch any real shut-eye otherwise. One moment, I'm excited as a little kid in Disney with new friends, no parents, and the week's pay in my bag, and another moment I'm absolutely convinced that I'm about to burst at the seams I'm falling apart so fast. Then I meet some one to share pasta and frustrations with, and it's a little more bearable -- until I'm all alone again.
That's just how it's been.
Fortunately, I have some really great parents out there who let me vent to them at all hours, and my crazy/wonderful mother is about to join me on this side of the Atlantic in less than twelve hours. I believe this to be a very positive event, and also one which I'm hoping will bring me out of this awful slump and make me feel much more worth-while and much less restless.
"Finish each day and be done with it…You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
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